Surrender in Crime by Elise Sax

Author:Elise Sax [sax, elise]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Elise Sax
Published: 0101-01-01T00:00:00+00:00

CHAPTER 11

"Let me get this straight,” the police detective said to Peter, Piper, and Adesh. "This man was murdered by unknown assailants."

The three nodded.

"That's right," Piper said.

The police detective jotted some notes down in his notebook. "And you were shot at a drag show in San Francisco," he said, pointing at Peter.

"Yep. I didn't know I was shot at first, but afterward, Piper noticed I was bleeding."

"And you were stabbed," he said to Adesh, like he was a waiter, repeating dinner orders at a restaurant.

"Actually, I stabbed myself, but I don't need mental health assistance because I didn't know the knife was real when I stabbed myself. I was just testing it."

The police detective stopped writing notes and looked up. "You were testing a knife to see if it was real by stabbing yourself.”

"Well, when you say it like that, it sounds like I'm dumb," Adesh said.

"He's not dumb," Peter said. "I can attest to that. Adesh is very smart."

"That's true," Piper added. "He hacked into the Indian nuclear program. You have to be smart to do that.”

"You probably shouldn’t have told him that," Adesh said.

"India Indian or Native American Indian?" the police detective asked.

"Do I look Native American? I'm India Indian," Adesh grumbled. "Geez, when will Americans learn about other cultures?"

"What about your face? How did that happen?" the police detective asked Peter.

Peter rubbed his bruised face. "The unknown assailants didn’t seem to like me, which is odd, because I'm a very friendly guy. Most people like me."

"That's true,” Adesh said. “He's great at a party. I'm not so good at a party. I prefer a sort of virtual existence. You know, computers."

The detective closed his notebook. "You know, if there wasn't a man lying dead right there, I would think this whole thing was some kind of prank show."

"Welcome to my life," Piper commented.

Two ambulances arrived. One was for Igor, and one was for Peter. Both Piper and Adesh insisted on staying with Peter while he was treated in the ambulance. There was no way they would let him vanish, again. When the paramedics got him bandaged up and gave him a couple ibuprofen for his face, the police detective informed them they were all going to be arrested.

"I can't be arrested,” Adesh pleaded. "I can’t go to the bathroom in front of other people. I have a condition, so it’s not legal to force me to go to the bathroom in front of other people. And if you force me to keep it in and if I can't pee or poop for months or years, that's just like killing me. That's cruel and unusual punishment. Don’t you understand? I can't be arrested. It would be unconstitutional."

"Don't worry," Peter told Adesh. "You won't have to go to the bathroom in front of anybody. They won’t arrest you.”

"I'm afraid he's going to be arrested, and so are you," the detective said. “Stabbing yourself? Nuh-uh. I wasn't born yesterday. And I didn't get this detective badge for being a moron, you know.

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